


White Fang and Cinder

by LeoOtherLands



Series: Flesh and Stone [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Acceptance, Canon Divergence, Death, Father/Son Conversation, Forgiveness, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Moving On, Recognizing Someone for Who They Are, Reconciliation, Reunion, meeting in the afterlife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoOtherLands/pseuds/LeoOtherLands
Summary: ‘Those in the Shinobi world who break the rules are scum, that’s true. But those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.’





	White Fang and Cinder

**Author's Note:**

> A work related to the Life and Death of Itachi Uchiha and Tender Ghosts.
> 
> Be careful with this one. Handle it gently. It’s a gift, you see. It isn’t meant for me. It isn’t meant for you…

Cinders. I could hear Choji calling my name, but all I could see were cinders flying upward on the rising air currents to hover and glow like fireflies against the stars before breathing out of existence. Somewhere, I lay back, or fell back, or slipped back with a soft exhalation, eyes closing on their own, but somewhere else I paced forward, hands in pockets, eyes on the cinders.

When you think about dying, you imagine the world graying out or a light growing to enfold you, or everything just winking off. But, dying isn’t any of those things. It’s a sigh as you lean back against the rocky ground, amidst the wreck of everything you expected life to be, and knowing, despite it all being a mess, everything’s going to be alright.

I could still hear the sounds of the attack going on somewhere distant, somewhere out of my reach. But, where I was in the ruins of it all, bodies and fragments of _Konoha_ all around me, it was growing quiet, and the figure sitting on a smooth, rounded rock was growing closer.

“Is that you, Kakashi?”

“Yeah. So, this is where you’ve been,” I said to him, pausing next to him a moment, face turned up to watch the sparks and cinders whirl and dance, right eye open, left eye closed against the _Sharingan_ , dark, wide, vertical scar marring it from hairline to mid cheek.

“Yeah,” he echoed. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

I made an acknowledging sound, something half-grunt-and-not-quite-hum and ambled to drop down on another seat-like rock. For a time, we both sat still, listening to the fire between us snap and crackle, and watching the cinders fly up. The night was around us and the dark tree branches framed the circle of sky.

“Looks like you’ve died too, Kakashi,” he said at last, half turning his face to me. His hair was light, not white like mine, more cream than snow. It fell full and over-long across his shoulders and around kind, sad features under dark eyes.

“Yeah, looks like it,” I responded, resting my wrists on my knees, so my face came low into the heat and light of the fire.

“You want to tell me your story?” The words were soft, a little pleading. Lonesome and sorry.

I let my one, open eye slide to him, wondering what he felt about my torn face and missing eye. If he even recognized me as who I once was. “It’s kind of long, dad.”

He nodded, understanding. “Yeah. I think that’d be fine.”

I choked a little, tears threatening to spill. I rubbed them away with a fist, and I told him.

Told him about Minato- _sensei_ and Rin and Obito. Touched my ripped face and told him about Obito’s _Sharingan_ resting behind my closed lid, and how Rin still came to talk to me. Told him about Itachi and how he used to hold me and how it still ached every time I thought about his leaving and how I couldn’t hate him, even after everything he’d done. Told him about becoming Naruto and Sakura and Sasuke’s team leader. Sasuke, Itachi’s little brother, who I’d failed to help, and who had run off, chasing after his brother in mad vengeance. Sasuke who I had not managed to bring back, and who had killed Itachi and taken his eyes. Told him about the war and _Konoha_ in ruins all around me and giving it all to Naruto.

“I did what I could and finished my part. Naruto will take care of the rest, _Konoha_ and Sasuke both.”

The fire popped. Logs split, and fresh cinders flew up. Specks of light to reflect in our eyes.

My father shifted. Uneasy. “Seems like you’ve had a rough time of it since I left.” A silence. “Itachi… I never expected…”

I shook my head. “Neither did I. Are you disappointed?”

Firelight danced on his cheeks. Shadows hid in the hollows under his eyes and beside his nose. In the cleft of his mouth. “Maybe a little. But, in the end, my son did the best he could and loved the man who loved him.” Another little pause. “What I’m really sad about is your age. I never would have thought we’d both die so young. Though, not as young as your mother.”

I nodded. Swallowed. Let my one, open eye turn to gaze at him with the firelight playing in the spikes of my hair. “Can I ask you something, dad?”

He sighed, and I could see the sadness in him. Deep and timeless, like the night circling us. “I think I know what it is, and I can’t say I want to talk about it. But I owe you that. So ask.”

I gripped my knees, knuckles white against my skin, stark against the cinders flying by them. “I’ve always wanted to know why the legendary White Fang of _Konoha_ chose to break the rules and abandon his mission to save his friends. You must have known the consequences. You must have known more people would die if you didn’t complete your mission… If you hadn’t broken the rules, you never would have been condemned, or have had to lock yourself away.

“I was so frustrated, watching you fall apart by pieces. And, I wanted to know what made you do it. What made you do something like that to yourself.”

I was wiping at tears again. Fisting them away so he wouldn’t see them on my face, though they glowed on my fingers.

“I see.” He looked down at the earth around the embers and spiting sticks, the hollows of his eyes dim where the light skimmed over them. “So, it was tough on you too, huh? I should have guessed it, but I was too wrapped up in my own pain.” He sighed again, tucked his fingers under his palms and clenched them, even as he pressed them onto his knees. “And then, I left you.”

We were both silent again. I let my eye go back to the fire, trace the cinders escaping from its undulating plumes.

“Yeah,” I said at last, “things were tough. But, you know, dad…” I looked up at him, sitting there, still in the flickering shadows, covered in remorse. “No matter what happened, you gave it your all. After everything that’s happened in my life, I understand that now.”

I could see him shifting, looking toward me, but I turned my eye away, needing to get the words out steady. So, I didn’t see how the light moved over his face or his eyes took me in, lips parting in changing emotion.

“After everything, today, I’m proud of my dad, who was willing to break the rules to save his friends.”

“Ah.” It wasn’t an exclamation or a sigh, more a breath let out. Something pent and held for a long time. It blended with the snapping, settling of the fire, followed the sparks and cinders up in their never-ending spiral to the circle of starlit sky. My father’s face opened with his dark, widening eyes. Then he shut those eyes and tucked his chin down. Going sad, but in a new way.

“Thank you, Kakashi. I… Chose my friends over the mission because they meant more to me than the rules. I cared for them more than an impersonal system, or what people thought of me. I guess… That’s how you felt about your Itachi, too. You cared about loving him more than the rules, or what people thought of you.”

“Yeah.”

Sparks between us.

One dark eye meeting two.

A torn face seeing a worn one and being seen in turn.

“Dad-”

I made a sound of surprise, eyes going wide as a soft, green light took me in the back, encompassing me, wrapping me round, and whipping my hair in flowing strands, bringing me to my feet.

“This is…” I raised my hands, just a moment, to comprehend the glow around them.

“It looks like it’s not your time just yet.”

“Dad…” I reached for him, but he only sat with the cinders around him, hands dangling between his legs.

“You must still have things to take care of. But I’m glad I got to speak with you, Kakashi.” A single cinder rose to hover in the center of his eye. A firefly, gone in a breath. “Thank you for forgiving me. I can move on now.”

I wanted to step toward him, or say a final word, but the green light closed around me, imploding like the folding of the dawn, and bursting into glittering sparkles, which hung in the night air a moment with the stars.

I sat up, grunting surprise, with Choji’s tearful face near mine and rocks and ruin all around me, but all I could see were cinders. Cinders rising up from a fading fire to whirl and glow a moment before breathing out of existence. And, in the growing dark, a man standing up from his place. He no longer had to wait for me there.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been six years, today, since you walked out of my life on the coldest day of the year. Nothing’s been the same since, but then, nothing ever is. I miss you like hell. And what can I say for myself? I’m worse than scum, dad. I’ve failed at so much, betrayed myself and my friends, fucked it all up, and done so many things I know you’d be disappointed in, I wonder if you’d even recognize me if you saw me now. But I still write. Yeah, I still do this. I might even get published this year, dad. Have to wait till March to find out… And you know what? I graduated from my associate degree program in December. Bet you never expected I’d do that. Or get my blue sash, either. By next year, I’ll be the first Caucasian of my “gender” to hold a black sash in my martial arts style. I know you would have loved it. Yeah, I miss you, dad. So, fucking, much. But I see you every day when I look in the mirror. I’m your son, I’m your daughter. In some way, I hope you can be proud of me. Love you always, your youngest.


End file.
